delectatio morosa
by Fruipit
Summary: crack. complete crack. also contains fourth-wall breaking and references to elsanna tropes. also, gay sex. references to toys (real toys, look 'em up). if you doubt me, remember: this was written on, and published for, reddit. contains elsanna and hansoff


_working title was 'so much gay crack'. please take that title to heart. this was done because it was like, 3am and i was angry enough i couldn't sleep. i am fully aware of how terrible it is – you don't need to remind me._

* * *

"Fuck, why are you so big!"

"Shut up, slut!"

There was a _crack_ as Hans' hand came into contact with the already-red skin of the ass he was thrusting into. Kristoff whimpered, but didn't say a word even as he was pressed more forcefully into the bed between them.

Hans' thrusting grew wild and erratic as he neared his peak, guided by Kristoff's tight hole and the boy's submission to him. He didn't even mind so much when the blond below him because more vocal, their twin cries of, "Fuck, oh fuck," turning into moans and animalistic growls.

"Yes!" Kristoff screamed. "Paint my ass with your cum! Fill me up!"

And Hans did just that.

He wasn't polite enough to reach around and tug on Kristoff's heavy cock, though, instead just retreating, pulling himself from the ass full of spunk and watching with an aroused flush as the muscles contracted. The liquid dribbled from Kristoff's hole and down his legs, and it was almost enough to make Hans hard again.

By that time, though, Kristoff had already gotten up and pulled Hans down, pressing his back to the bed as he lined his aching cock up to Hans' asshole.

He was bigger, far wider than Hans could ever hope to be. When he pushed the swollen head into Hans' tight ass, the whole room was filled with the cry from the auburn-haired man, the sound ripped from his throat.

Then, Kristoff's hand came to wrap around his throat, and the cry petered off to be replaced by desperate moans and pants.

"Fuck yeah, you like that? You like that?"

His hand squeezed, just a little, just enough to make Hans' dick leak and the man to release a guttural cry. Kristoff's other hand trailed down the center of his chest to his stomach, scratching the taught skin there before it latched onto Hans' weeping cock.

It was too much. The thrusting of Kristoff, his thick dick plunging into Hans' tight asshole, combined with Kristoff's hands around his throat and cock, tightening around, pushed them over the edge. Kristoff grunted as he released into Hans' ass, his grip loosening enough to let the other man breath, and to let his own seed go flying, covering both their chests.

Fuck it felt so good.

Slowly, he pulled out, aware of how slippery it was now. The bed was soaked in their sweat and cum, and the blond loved it. Lying back on the bed, he placed a kiss to Hans' forehead, just as the other man began licking his spunk off Kristoff's chest.

"Now that was Elsa and Anna, appearing as Hans and Kristoff from the popular film _Frozen_ for all your pleasurable needs~ For just an extra $50 you can have a personal half-hour show, but be quick, there's only four available!"

Fuck, they loved their job.

* * *

Back in the dressing room, the two girls were still making out despite there being no fans to service. "The audience really loved us tonight. I wish I could see their faces!"

Anna was always far too excitable. It was just sex. Still, Elsa gave a wry grin. "I can imagine."

One day they would make love with regular strap-ons, maybe. Elsa had a monstrous green one, while Anna had the matching purple one (it was a deal. A good deal). But for now kinky sex paid really well.

"Thank god no one knows we're related," she said, off-hand, completely out of the blue. Anna looked at her, a guilty expression on her face. Elsa's darkened.

"What did you do?"

Anna shook her head. Unfortunately, they were clothed, so Elsa couldn't use her body to persuade her sister to talk. So, instead, she went over and put a jacket on because for some god-only-knows reason Anna (and everyone else) was obsessed with her being in a suit. It worked, and like a prisoner under torture (very sexy, she-was-happy-to-be-tortured-torture) Anna spilled all her secrets. Elsa was very sexy.

"Well, you know how Mom, who isn't dead, was totally cool with us getting together and sexing it up despite being biologically-related sisters?"

Elsa nodded.

"I may have... gotten...awimbleweh."

Elsa just looked at her. "A what?"

"A...wedding ring. I want you to marry me."

"But we're sisters! Who would marry us if they knew?"

At that, Anna shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that I love you. I love having sex with you. You have the tightest ass out of anyone and I love thrusting into it with my giant strap-on. I think you could take a bigger one if you wanted."

Elsa was tearing up. "You really mean that?" she asked softly. "All of that?"

Anna nodded and smiled. "I do."

With that, Elsa took a breath. "Then, Anna Annie Arendelle, would you do me the honour of plunging your Bad Dragon® Demon Dick into my ass?"

"I do. Would you do me the honour of covering me in chocolate sauce as I ride your Bad Dragon® Bumble Hooves the Unicorn cock all night?"

They shared a soft smile as Elsa whispered, "I do."

The End.


End file.
